Looking out from the window of heaven I sometimes see the glowing sunny path.
Its visible only when god shows his blessing. It vanishes when its much needed.
The real patinece has its price. But it works.
After a wrath of time. I can see what he is trying to tell me.
I hope God will surely bless me one day.
I can feel lil joy. Relaxed.
Exhilarated. Just wanna this much. It means all.
Yup, it means thousand suns taking all nightmares in one instant. Sante.
Monday, April 28, 2008
A Season of Faith's Perfection
Was thinking about seasons of life. Fun here. Here we are, people talking about me. Telling me the demeanor of going bizarre in this world. I find it ridiculous, cuz its not me who is changing. It’s what they want from me.
First, they chopp me into pieces. Play with my soul. Play with what we call friendship and then say they don’t know what they have done. What in the world I am, their friend ? a target to lose always ? oh dear god have mercy on me.
What more do you need to say, you are still their friend. Well of course you are. But I can’t be just a machine to sit back and do or feel nothing when there is no faith. You cannot be so convinced.
The darkness of the shadows, haunts me, follows me
scared of my own decisions, I cried out
but did you listen?
no,
you stood there,
confused,
starring,
watching,
observing every move,
I have no one but myself,
"I can do it",
I try and tell myself,
but the cuts tell me different,
what am I to do with all these dreams..
unsaveable, unfixable,
broken with every care in my heart,
do I have a heart anymore
can I show love anymore,
can I smile without hiding how I really feel,
it goes on and on and I have nothing,
no one...... yea no one.
Joy of loving someone,
I cry all the time when I rem this.
As I said in beginning, there is fun ! but it’s not a fun. Losing hope. Traumatized all the time and the sulking in the corner is not a fun !
To be me, truly me what I want ? I want things to be like before. I still miss that. I miss all that stuff what I used to share and take the joy in sharing. Please don’t make me like this, I aint liking it. I cant take this nymore.
Far Standing,
I see your smile,
Those enchanting words,
I can hear in my ears,
Breathing,
I can listen it in heart beats.
I am not too far from you.
Just look around,
am with you.
I sometimes miss badly,
I wish I would have enough patience to keep my hopes float. Still counting on you.
Sante.
First, they chopp me into pieces. Play with my soul. Play with what we call friendship and then say they don’t know what they have done. What in the world I am, their friend ? a target to lose always ? oh dear god have mercy on me.
What more do you need to say, you are still their friend. Well of course you are. But I can’t be just a machine to sit back and do or feel nothing when there is no faith. You cannot be so convinced.
The darkness of the shadows, haunts me, follows me
scared of my own decisions, I cried out
but did you listen?
no,
you stood there,
confused,
starring,
watching,
observing every move,
I have no one but myself,
"I can do it",
I try and tell myself,
but the cuts tell me different,
what am I to do with all these dreams..
unsaveable, unfixable,
broken with every care in my heart,
do I have a heart anymore
can I show love anymore,
can I smile without hiding how I really feel,
it goes on and on and I have nothing,
no one...... yea no one.
Joy of loving someone,
I cry all the time when I rem this.
As I said in beginning, there is fun ! but it’s not a fun. Losing hope. Traumatized all the time and the sulking in the corner is not a fun !
To be me, truly me what I want ? I want things to be like before. I still miss that. I miss all that stuff what I used to share and take the joy in sharing. Please don’t make me like this, I aint liking it. I cant take this nymore.
Far Standing,
I see your smile,
Those enchanting words,
I can hear in my ears,
Breathing,
I can listen it in heart beats.
I am not too far from you.
Just look around,
am with you.
I sometimes miss badly,
I wish I would have enough patience to keep my hopes float. Still counting on you.
Sante.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Few words from my friend..
Chop it. Crush it. Put it out. No feelings. Become like one who is never been existed in this world.
Big face lost in the world. It takes years to be with someone and so easy to be pushed around, ignored. In an instance. Life like a coin, can be turned around in any moment.
Welcome to my life.
Ever felt like breaking down? felt out of place? Like you just don't belong and no one understands you.
Ever thought running away ? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the head turning music so loud that no one hears you screaming .
No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right, You don't know what it's like, To be like me.
Heard these words all inside my head..buzzing.. buzzing.. time changing. Was happy all along !
Used to think why does it hurt so much. No one ever lied straight to your face, no one ever stabbed you in the back.
Y does it hurt like hell when you are important,
I never thought… it would hurt this bad, a
And I never knew, u could make me feel so sad
why do we trust so easily and become vulnerable. Thought of grabbing hand and become faithful till eternity.
Learning life. Love my life now. Its good To be hurt, To feel lost, To be left out in the dark, To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around to be on the edge of breaking down, And no one's there to save you , No you don't know what it's like, Welcome to my life.. strange one ..
Hah .. gotta survive. it hurts because you care. this is the sucky part about getting over someone. when our emotions are involved full throttle, we dont think about our feelings being hurt. unfortuntaely thats how life goes.
Hey don’t mistake me. It’s the voices inside my head. I will be OK, the way you wanted,
Nyway, hopefloats my dear. Sante.
Chop it. Crush it. Put it out. No feelings. Become like one who is never been existed in this world.
Big face lost in the world. It takes years to be with someone and so easy to be pushed around, ignored. In an instance. Life like a coin, can be turned around in any moment.
Welcome to my life.
Ever felt like breaking down? felt out of place? Like you just don't belong and no one understands you.
Ever thought running away ? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the head turning music so loud that no one hears you screaming .
No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right, You don't know what it's like, To be like me.
Heard these words all inside my head..buzzing.. buzzing.. time changing. Was happy all along !
Used to think why does it hurt so much. No one ever lied straight to your face, no one ever stabbed you in the back.
Y does it hurt like hell when you are important,
I never thought… it would hurt this bad, a
And I never knew, u could make me feel so sad
why do we trust so easily and become vulnerable. Thought of grabbing hand and become faithful till eternity.
Learning life. Love my life now. Its good To be hurt, To feel lost, To be left out in the dark, To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around to be on the edge of breaking down, And no one's there to save you , No you don't know what it's like, Welcome to my life.. strange one ..
Hah .. gotta survive. it hurts because you care. this is the sucky part about getting over someone. when our emotions are involved full throttle, we dont think about our feelings being hurt. unfortuntaely thats how life goes.
Hey don’t mistake me. It’s the voices inside my head. I will be OK, the way you wanted,
Nyway, hopefloats my dear. Sante.
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