Screams Of Silence

Peaceful world

2008-04-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

Looking out from the window of heaven I sometimes see the glowing sunny path.
Its visible only when god shows his blessing. It vanishes when its much needed.
The real patinece has its price. But it works.
After a wrath of time. I can see what he is trying to tell me.
I hope God will surely bless me one day.
I can feel lil joy. Relaxed.
Exhilarated. Just wanna this much. It means all.
Yup, it means thousand suns taking all nightmares in one instant. Sante.

A Season of Faith's Perfection

2008-04-28T04:30:00.000-07:00

Was thinking about seasons of life. Fun here. Here we are, people talking about me. Telling me the demeanor of going bizarre in this world. I find it ridiculous, cuz its not me who is changing. It’s what they want from me.
First, they chopp me into pieces. Play with my soul. Play with what we call friendship and then say they don’t know what they have done. What in the world I am, their friend ? a target to lose always ? oh dear god have mercy on me.
What more do you need to say, you are still their friend. Well of course you are. But I can’t be just a machine to sit back and do or feel nothing when there is no faith. You cannot be so convinced.

The darkness of the shadows, haunts me, follows me
scared of my own decisions, I cried out
but did you listen?
no,
you stood there,
confused,
starring,
watching,
observing every move,
I have no one but myself,
"I can do it",
I try and tell myself,
but the cuts tell me different,
what am I to do with all these dreams..
unsaveable, unfixable,
broken with every care in my heart,
do I have a heart anymore
can I show love anymore,
can I smile without hiding how I really feel,
it goes on and on and I have nothing,
no one...... yea no one.
Joy of loving someone,
I cry all the time when I rem this.

As I said in beginning, there is fun ! but it’s not a fun. Losing hope. Traumatized all the time and the sulking in the corner is not a fun !

To be me, truly me what I want ? I want things to be like before. I still miss that. I miss all that stuff what I used to share and take the joy in sharing. Please don’t make me like this, I aint liking it. I cant take this nymore.

Far Standing,
I see your smile,
Those enchanting words,
I can hear in my ears,
Breathing,
I can listen it in heart beats.
I am not too far from you.
Just look around,
am with you.
I sometimes miss badly,
I wish I would have enough patience to keep my hopes float. Still counting on you.
Sante.

2008-04-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

Few words from my friend..
Chop it. Crush it. Put it out. No feelings. Become like one who is never been existed in this world.
Big face lost in the world. It takes years to be with someone and so easy to be pushed around, ignored. In an instance. Life like a coin, can be turned around in any moment.

Welcome to my life.
Ever felt like breaking down? felt out of place? Like you just don't belong and no one understands you.
Ever thought running away ? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the head turning music so loud that no one hears you screaming .

No you don't know what it's like When nothing feels all right, You don't know what it's like, To be like me.

Heard these words all inside my head..buzzing.. buzzing.. time changing. Was happy all along !
Used to think why does it hurt so much. No one ever lied straight to your face, no one ever stabbed you in the back.

Y does it hurt like hell when you are important,
I never thought… it would hurt this bad, a
And I never knew, u could make me feel so sad
why do we trust so easily and become vulnerable. Thought of grabbing hand and become faithful till eternity.

Learning life. Love my life now. Its good To be hurt, To feel lost, To be left out in the dark, To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around to be on the edge of breaking down, And no one's there to save you , No you don't know what it's like, Welcome to my life.. strange one ..

Hah .. gotta survive. it hurts because you care. this is the sucky part about getting over someone. when our emotions are involved full throttle, we dont think about our feelings being hurt. unfortuntaely thats how life goes.

Hey don’t mistake me. It’s the voices inside my head. I will be OK, the way you wanted,
Nyway, hopefloats my dear. Sante.

2007-09-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

Sixes ! Sweet Catches ! Plenty of power drives ! Amazing field ! and Stupid Runouts !
Welcome to the world of cricket. Oh of course the mighty God is definitely not on our side but am sure one day we will see good cricket. But I don’t know by that time how many hopes , how many hearts would break between this recuperating performance.
Came back from my very long long long holidays. And just realized people again going mad after cricket. Thank you people for remembering me. (feels good when good ppl are around )
Now days I watch cricket not just with a hope that our Indian oops ! Team India will win, But I watch it. Cuz Its in my things-to-watch list. So Dhoni is now leading our Team India, I am not sure about our winning but I am pretty sure that a lot of Castrol / Pepsi / Gilette / Videocon / Shampoo advertising companies would swell their budget out to enchant Indian customers. A lot of things go wrong in cricket. Its not a game now. Welcome to the world of cricket cum politics ! My Hopes go haywire sometimes Ha ha !
Will be ON my blog from now on. Sayonara

2007-07-29T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hi there .. just wanted to say sorry for the late message. I am on my holidayssssss...................
now that feels weird .. lol
God Bless. keep writting ur stuffs..
Will catch up soon
Adios :)

2007-06-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

DEAR FRIENDS, WONT FORCE YOU TO DO / FIX THIS THING IN UR AGENDA OF "HAVE TO DO LIST BEFORE DIE".
BUT BEING AN INDIAN / HONEST COUNTRY PERSON PLEASE VOTE FOR TAJ.

DO VOTE AS EXPLAINED BELOW ( I COPIED THIS TEXT FROM A FRIEND'S BLOG http://malik-shruti.blogspot.com/ )

AND THOSE WHO STILL WISH TO DO FURTHER ... USE THE SAME MSG TEXT, SO THAT OTHERS CAN REGISTER / VOTE FOR OUR TAJ TOO.

ITS NOT ONLY MINE, NOT ONLY YOURS, BUT ITS OURS.

Shurti forgive me for copying your stuff.
Good luck for doing such a peaceful work.

There are two ways to VOTE:
1) Online Voting be visiting http://www.new7wonders.com/index.php
2) Send text TAJ and send it to 4567

We are not realizing, millions of people earn their bread and butter only from TAJ MAHAL. I'm really disappointed the way our Government is promoting this, time is running out, results will be out on 7th July.
Let's wrack our brains and spread this message to all. Ideas are more the welcome
TAJ, is INDIA PRIDE and MUST be part of 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD.Labels: 7 Wonders, Agra, India, Taj Mahal, World

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Sometimes you let lose.
Just let them flow.
out of control
purposeless

The conspicious quink
runs down the smooth, white
executive bond.
Let it spill.

Track down forbidden interiors
Of your sub-concious mind
And suddenly it is all there
In Blue & White
The things you've been
running away from..

2007-06-05T10:01:00.000-07:00

A thunderous silence
breaks through my thoughts.
What was once many great ideas
is now a triumph, lost.
Like, I am loser !

Baffling words tumble through my mind.
Reflections of darkness hover.
A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me,
and inside myself, I take cover.

What would it be like to stay there forever?
To be lost in all my cares?
From the inside, looking out -
Sometimes, I cry silent tears.

2007-06-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

I get real quiet
and listen...
until the silence is deafening.

Silence speaks
in her own tongue.

To hear what she says,
listen carefully.

She's an enchanting rhythm
that goes on and on.
If you tune into her frequency,
she will lead you to the point
between the past and the future,
where they cancel each other out.

Think of a tuning fork.
Sense its' vibrations.
Feel your body
tune to the fork.
The hum.

Hear it grip your ears
your attention
your mind.

Maybe She loves you.
The Hum,
this resonance of being...

There is an intelligence
in the Rhythm.

If you would hear
she'd tell you that she loves you.
She's telling you right now.

Listen carefully,
to this sacred song
of Silence

2007-05-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Alone, I find myself in a waking dream
Looking out from the inside it seems
A prisoner of my heart, inside I sleep
Mourning the loss of a friend I weep
It happened long ago in death he was taken
Since that time I am unable to awaken
Feels like forever I have been in this state
Closing my eyes laden with tears in darkness I wait
My sentence I have served many years
When all at once a whisper came to my ears
Speaking in words so soft and pure
He told me of all things that endure
Smiling I feel a stirring in my heart
It's like his words give light to the dark
Opening my heart with the new found key
Forever granting my soul amnesty
Hope this dream stays with me now
Forever.................

2007-04-30T11:50:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, just wondering if you can solve these:
Plsm write what u feel. And for heavens sake don’t define any word here .
I know, you all are masterpiece.
But let me hear what you have or feel deep in your heart about these.

1) Love ? (Most of us play with this word)
2) Friendship ?
3) Friends ( mind you, friendship and friends are two different words for me)
4) Betrayal ?
5) Emotion ?
6) A tear ?
7) Pain ?
8) Anger ?

Oh yes, some people differentiate between true love and love. Can anyone help me in this too ?

2007-04-23T23:40:00.000-07:00

It is cold today
Indeed the rain is falling and I am alone.
Thoughts of life and love,
meaningless to anyone but myself.
I am alone.
They watch me, their eyes not knowing,
knowing nothing of what they see.
I am but another creature, alone.
They scurry on the surface, unaware,
unaware of the life below
when you are alone.

Loneliness, not a burden nor a sorrow,
but a time of solace, of deepness
never to be shared, never to be understood.
They can never reach the place where I am
And I know I will never reach the place where they are.
I know I don't want to reach that place.
True happiness is here, unmisted.
Unmisted by smiles or laughter,
unmisted by the joys of company.

To find true happiness,
to know if one is truly happy,
You must be happy alone.

2007-03-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

Day after Days,
Night after Night,

The world moves as I stay still.
Staring at my plain dark bedroom wall.

Mother knocks on my door, but I feel too numb to answer
She cries, but I motionlessly don't answer.

I lie on my bed,
Screaming in my head.

Pain forever with me never leaving.
It goes with me everywhere.

Like my shadow,
Constantly there.

Now my sister turning into darkness.
She will before long be just like her brother.

And mother will soon give in.
The echo of glass breaking,

The sound of my mother screaming,
And me still emotionless as I lay.

The doors are slamming.
More glasses breaking.

And me just falling,
With no delay.

Now the house grows dark.
Only the noise of the wind and the crickets grows.

And for me I have now been swallowed by the darkness.
And all my fears have come true.

2007-03-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

Who are you to come to me
as I lay within this pine.
Who are you to shed those tears
to claim that all was fine.

Who are you to call me friend
and say I will be missed.
Who are you to touch my hand
with one as cold and stiff.

Who are you to praise my past,
and steal my life of joy.
Who are you to take this task,
with hopes to fill your void.

Who are you to firm your lies,
with words that condescend.
Who are you to say good-bye,
at my journeys end.

2007-03-09T04:35:00.000-08:00

Somewhere, along the line
An abysmal storm-cloud
Drowned, dreams that were mine,
Buried deep, as in a shroud
Obliterating the warm sunshine:
Leaving me in chaos, so profound!

Sweet illusions are no more;
Only stark reality confront,
Portending of the disaster, in store,
Happiness and love play truant-
Reducing life to a futile core,
Bereft of all camouflages, so pliant!

In such a turbulent panorama,
Wherein I have been hurled,
Came the light hopes of a panacea,
To lift me from despair, and unfurled,
Once again, horizons, free of trauma,
My heart sinks again, music purled…

Is this the tryst, I was waiting for?
Is this the consuming love I was dying for…

The Empty Chair

2007-03-05T05:26:00.000-08:00

Got this prayer from my friends. I guess, a prayer is a true conversation with God.
Tell me what a prayer means to you ?
A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed. The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. "I guess you were expecting me," he said. "No, who are you?" said the father.
The minister told him his name and then remarked, "I see the empty chair; I figured you knew I was going to show up." "Oh yeah, the chair," said the bed ridden man. "Would you mind closing the door?"
Puzzled, the minister shut the door. "I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter," said the man. "But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head."
"I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day about four years ago my best friend said to me, "Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus.
Here is what I suggest." "Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, "I'll be with you always." Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now." "So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either think I had a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm." The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey.
Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.
Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.
"Did he die in peace?" he asked. "Yes, when I left the house about two o' clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead.
"But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed.
What do you make of that?"
The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I wish we could all go like that."
Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards..

2007-02-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

Got this funny mail. hope you have got that too ;)
Once in America a plane crashed, only a monkey who was travelling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.

Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travellers doing?"
Monkey: "Tying their belts"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Checking the system"

Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Serving the travellers"
Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering"

Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?"
Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading"
Officer: "What were the airhostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Make up"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Handling"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: " Nothing"

Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travellers doing?"
Monkey: "All were sleeping"
Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?"
Monkey: "Kissing the pilots"
Officer: "What were the pilots doing?"
Monkey: "Responding"
Officer: "What were you doing?"
Monkey: "Handling the steering!!"

2007-02-17T01:47:00.000-08:00

There you go with one manuskript stroke.
I hope you'll understand this. If don't ask me :p
Pr. hope you'll definitely get this ;-)

जब कभी तेरी याद आती है
चांदनी में नहा के आती है।
भीग जाते हैं आँख में सपने
शब में शबनम बहा के आती है।

मेरी तनहाई के तसव्वुर में
तेरी तसवीर उभर आती है।
तू नहीं है तो तेरी याद सही
ज़िन्दगी कुछ तो संवर जाती है।

जब बहारों का ज़िक्र आता है
मेरे माज़ी की दास्तानों में
तब तेरे फूल से तबस्सुम का
रंग भरता है आसमानों में।

तू कहीं दूर उफ़क से चल कर
मेरे ख्यालों में उतर आती है।
मेरे वीरान बियाबानों में
प्यार बन कर के बिखर जाती है।

तू किसी पंखरी के दामन पर
ओस की तरह झिलमिलाती है।
मेरी रातों की हसरतें बन कर
तू सितारों में टिमटिमाती है।

वक्ते रुख़सत की बेबसी ऐसी
आँख से आरज़ू अयाँ न हुई।
दिल से आई थी बात होठों तक
बेज़ुबानी मगर ज़ुबां न हुई।

एक लमहे के दर्द को लेकर
कितनी सदियां उदास रहती हैं।
दूरियां जो कभी नहीं मिटतीं
मेरी मंज़िल के पास रहती हैं।

रात आई तो बेकली लेकर
सहर आई तो बेकरार आई।
चन्द उलझे हुये से अफ़साने
ज़िन्दगी और कुछ नहीं लाई।

चश्मे पुरनम बही, बही, न बही।
ज़िन्दगी है, रही, रही, न रही।
तुम तो कह दो जो तुमको कहना था
मेरा क्या है कही, कही, न कही।

ask me, ask me what you don't understand :P

Happy Valentines Day !

2007-02-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

If distance makes the heart grow fonder,
then let it keep our hearts from wander.
Make me strong and build thyself,
fix thy faults and lift mine health.

Thy actions strange and not of old,
for what is meant may be foretold.
Look deeper to the fold of reason,
betwixt the mode that makes our treason.

Help me see what hurt I bear to thee,
for love and life with you I see.
Within thyself, an instrument of gold,
most dear to me, myself, you hold.
'Tis what you seek, and I of you.

Make this your heart and key to true
love and freedom from our woes of fear.
For you, my love, I hold most dear.

2007-02-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted

Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream

Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted

Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted

Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

2007-01-17T01:13:00.000-08:00

Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.

Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.

Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.

Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.

Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.

Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.

Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.

Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.

Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.

So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?

You can't.
Yes You Can't !.